


to you, i would give the world

by settledthesun



Category: Faking It (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst, F/F, My take on the upcoming episode 5
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-09
Updated: 2014-10-09
Packaged: 2018-02-20 12:36:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2429024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/settledthesun/pseuds/settledthesun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>‘I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone.’ she says, pressing a long, soft kiss to Karma’s forehead, breathing her in. ‘Which is why I’m doing this.’</p>
<p>or</p>
<p>Amy has one final birthday present for Karma. It's time to move on.</p>
            </blockquote>





	to you, i would give the world

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my take on s2e5, based on that short clip in the promo, and the theories that Amy will give Karma and Liam her 'blessing' on Karma's birthday.
> 
> This is probably one of the more angsty things I've written, so I apologise in advance.

It’s another hot, Friday evening in Austin. 

It’s also Karma’s birthday.

Which, if she’s being totally honest, doesn’t completely explain why she’s been dragged to the park by Amy, without any real explanation, but hey, she does love a good surprise.

Amy's leading her through the trees, and she’s about to ask where they’re going and if it might have been wise to bring Amy’s softball bat, when they reach a small clearing and all thoughts of low-budget horror movies disappear as she gasps.

Amy has strung fairly lights up in the trees, twisting in and out of the lower branches, bathing the two girls in a soft glow. There’s a blanket spread over the grass, with what looks like a picnic basket and a bottle of lemonade (unfortunately, sixteen is still very much underage) sitting on it. Music is also coming from a docking station beside it, and Karma recognises one of her favourite songs playing softly.

Her parents used to play it all the time, telling eight year old Karma about how they ‘had fallen in love’ to it all those years ago. When Karma first learned to play the guitar at twelve, it has been the first thing she’d learned. Amy had patiently sat through hours of practice with her until she got it right.

She isn’t really the type to be rendered speechless, always the more vocal of the two of them after years of filling silences where Amy struggled with social niceties. But right now, in this space; this place that Amy has built for her, she doesn’t know what to say.

She doesn’t know how long she spends gaping in awe at her surroundings, but she looks over to Amy for the first time and her heart bursts with emotion. Amy is staring at her, almost timidly, a small smile playing on her lips as she watches Karma take everything in. 

‘Amy, how-,’ is all she manages to get out, before reverting back to taking the situation in with wide eyes.

Amy just shrugs, looking almost embarrassed, bringing her hand up to rub at the back of her neck awkwardly. 

‘It wasn’t as difficult as I thought it might be,’ she says. ‘I got the lights from the hardware store, and Shane helped me string them up. I got all your favourites from that organic place you like. And I kinda, maybe, stole your ipod when you weren’t looking, and added my playlist to it.’

‘You did all of this? For me?’

‘Well, it is your birthday.’

‘Yeah, and you always make sure I have a great birthday, but this-,’ she motions around wildly.

A look of worry suddenly flashes across Amy’s face. ‘Don’t you like it?’

‘Like it,’ Karma has to stop herself from laughing at the absurd notion of not liking it. ‘I can’t believe someone would do something like this for me.’

‘You’re my best friend.’

Karma freezes, feeling herself tense up, realising that this is edging towards dangerous territory.

‘And you’re mine,’ she replies, not wanting the conversation to go where she fears it might.

‘So, you do like it?’ Amy asks.

‘I love it, it’s incredible,’ she answers honestly.

‘Okay, good.’

Amy shifts her weight from foot to foot where she’s standing, a sign of discomfort that Karma is familiar with after so many years. She goes to sit down, wanting to put Amy more at ease.

‘So, do you want to break open the fancy lemonade, or should I?’

Amy reaches out quickly, grabbing Karma’s wrist and stopping her from sitting down. She looks down as she realises what she’s done, quickly pulling back and shoving her hand in the pocket of her torn up jeans.

‘Actually, I have one more present left for you.’

‘Another? Amy, this was more than enough. You’re spoiling me!’

‘Please,’ desperation has begun to seep into her voice. ‘Just let me do this.’

Karma eyes her friend warily, starting to feel a little less in the partying mood.

‘I love you.’

Karma’s chest pangs, the way it does whenever Amy’s feelings for her are brought up. She knows she was the one who said they needed to talk about it, but that doesn’t mean she likes doing it. She hates that she’s causing Amy so much pain without even meaning to.

‘Amy-,’ she starts, but is cut off by the other girl.

‘I know, I know, I promise this isn’t-,’ Amy runs her hands through her hair in an attempt to compose herself. ‘Please, just let me say what I have to say.’

Karma, aware that this is important to Amy, nods.

‘I’ve loved you since we were five years old, and you cried because Steven Simmons ripped up your painting you’d done during art time, and I kicked him in the knee. We’ve been best friends ever since that day, and everyday I’ve felt so lucky to have you. Everything was so perfect for so long.’ Amy, who had been smiling softly down at the ground up until this point, now looks up at Karma. ‘And then I kissed you. And I realised that the way I loved you wasn’t so simple. Or maybe it was. But I realised that the way we were just wasn’t enough for me. And it was scary, and it was thrilling, and in a lot of ways it sucked. Like, really sucked. I look at you and I see the person I never want to be apart from. And then I told you, and you told me what, deep down, I knew all along. You just don’t feel for me in that way. And it’s okay. Really, it is. You can’t make your heart feel a way that it just won’t, you know?’

Karma tries to swallow down the lump forming in her throat, and nods.

Amy takes a deep breath. ‘So, that’s how I know this is the right thing to do.’

Karma’s brow furrows in confusion at Amy’s words. ‘Do what? Amy, you’re starting to worry me.’

It’s at that moment that the sound of someone else approaching reaches their ears. Amy doesn’t break eye contact, doesn’t look to see who it is, as if she knows who’s going to be standing there. Karma turns her head, only to come face to face with Liam, who is mirroring her own look of confusion.

‘Hey, uh, Amy, I got your text,’ Liam says, holding his phone up. ‘Is everything okay? What’s going on?’

‘Yeah, Amy’, Karma says, sharing a look with Liam before turning back to her best friend. 

‘I want you to be happy. More than anything, I want to be the one to make you happy.’ Karma’s breath hitches. ‘But sometimes the world just doesn’t work that way.’

‘Amy,’ Karma warns, not wanting Amy to say what she thinks she’s going to.

‘You should be with him.’ Amy says simply. It doesn’t sound pained. If anything, it sounds rehearsed, which suggests she’s been planning this conversation. ‘You shouldn’t have to suffer because of how I feel. It’s not fair. You can’t stop your feelings as much as I can’t stop mine.’

She steps forward, and this time she does look like she’s hurting. She reaches out, cupping Karma’s face softly with her hand, rubbing her cheek with her thumb.

‘This is the way it should be.’

Karma covers her hand with her own, leaning her head against Amy’s, silently pleading with her not to do this.

‘You won’t be seeing me for a while. I mean, not in a super dramatic ‘Edward Cullen’ way, just in a ‘I want you to be happy, but it’s still gonna be tough kinda way.’’

‘Amy, don’t,’ she begs. 

‘I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone.’ she says, pressing a long, soft kiss to Karma’s forehead, breathing her in. ‘Which is why I’m doing this.’ 

And with that, she turns on her heel and leaves, brushing past Liam with a quiet ‘don’t hurt her,’ before disappearing out of the clearing. Out of the place she’d made for Karma.

She can’t move. She doesn’t think she can even breathe. Nothing has hurt like this before.

Liam takes a cautious step towards her, unsure whether to reach out to her. 

‘Karma?’

But she doesn’t respond, she just looks around. The fairy lights are blurred through the tears, and she realises this place isn’t half as beautiful without Amy there. She stares desperately at the gap between the trees where Amy disappeared, wanting nothing more than for her to come back, to say she was just joking, and for Karma to slap her playfully on the arm.

But nothing happens.

Amy doesn’t return. Liam doesn’t move. And Karma doesn’t stop crying.

The only thing she’s aware of is the music still coming softly from her ipod over by the untouched food. The playlist must have restarted at some point, because that song is playing again.

_‘And I wish you all the love in the world,  
But most of all I wish it from myself.’_

Karma’s legs finally give out, sinking to her knees and covering her mouth as she sobs.

 

Later that night, halfway across town, Amy does the exact same thing.

 

_'And I love you, I love you, I love you  
Like never before.'_

**Author's Note:**

> The song is, of course, Songbird by Fleetwood Mac/Eva Cassidy.


End file.
